"Tell the story of a lifetime / Tomorrow brings a brand new day."

I'm sad. Not for myself, but for my students. I can't believe the kinds of crappy places my kids are living in, the kind of crappy parents they have to deal with.

This week, I decided I needed to serve as a role model for what I want other teachers to do for the freshmen: build a good relationship with the parents. So, each day, I've been calling 2-4 students' homes about anything: absences, good grades, great skills at something, improvement in behavior we'd already talked about, warning about the up-coming project, etc. A sampling of what I learned:

1) Two of my students, who are friends, decided to steal one friend's aunt's car, money, diamond ring, and credit cards to drive across the country. They almost got to the Idaho border before Nevada cops pulled them over. They stayed overnight in a detention hall. The authorities said their parents needed to come out immediately to pick them up or they'd be put in the Nevada juvenile system. Their parents couldn't because of the unexpected expense and the snow. Eventually, they were put on a train, which derailed somewhere outside of Reno. They were put up overnight near Reno and finally got home today to their parents. In the true teen way of seeing the world, neither of them seemed too affected when finally picked up; one girl asked for her make-up case and a pop, the other asked for her CD player.

2) One boy has been physically abused by his dad, so he was stealing his mom's alcohol to get drunk after school and after she went to bed to forget about it. He practices self-mutilation, and has attempted suicide "at least once," he tells me. His mom gives him anything he wants and allows him to skip going to counseling because "I can't make him." She doesn't see family counseling as an option because she doesn't "need that kind of help."

3) One student is currently living with his aunt and uncle and three of his siblings. He has 9 altogether, but they were completely separated when they were taken from their parents, who were using drugs, beating the kids, neglecting them, and not taking them or sending them to school. They were shuffled around the foster care system for 2 years until this student and his 3 siblings were reunited and abother 4 of his sibs are with another aunt. The other two may be put up for adoption, depending on the outcome of the pending trial.

4) One student from last year seeked me out several weeks ago to tell me about her dad. He has been cheating on his mom for years with a co-worker of his. This student thought the woman was nice - since she'd randomly shown up several times when the girl and her dad were out to dinner, and then asked to join said student and dad. (That's sick, using your kids for some kind of legitimacy of a dinner date.) The only reason he brought the situation to the light and confessed now is because his lover is pregnant, presumably with his child, and he wants his wife to support the mom and child, since he doesn't have a job now. The wife is furious, and rightfully so, so she told her daughter what her "scumbag father" did. Since he confessed and made his request, my former student has not had a single conversation with her mom that doesn't involve expletives followed by her dad's name. The student herself is not sure if she still loves her dad, but she definitely feels sorry for him, being in a marriage where he doesn't love her mom anymore.

5) Another student is living with his aunt and several cousins. His mom is out of the picture, his grandma and long-time guardian died last year, and his dad is in jail. Dad was released from jail in October, and my student refused to go back with his dad (who has legal custody), but will not explain to anyone why not. (I hope my imagination is worse than reality.) Aunt began a court battle to keep him, which ended because the dad was locked up again for assaulting a police officer with a deadly weapon.

I only have 78 students, and this is 6 of them. I'm honestly afraid to call the rest. I wish more teachers would call their students' parents when something seems amiss to find out if they can help.